I hope you're all having a good easter holiday (or spring break), and enjoying time off from school/college/work
I've shared a few personal stories on here before (I'm going to try and delete some of them since they're written terribly and have embarrassing spelling and grammar mistakes), and since it's been some time since my last one, I'm here to share another.
This story happened after I left school, and during my second year of college.
Nearly four years ago (September 2011), I enroled in a Creative Media course in college, and would be studying in a whole new place with a class of people I didn't know. I was nervous about starting, since I wouldn't know anyone there, and due to very low confidence, I didn't really think I'd make any friends.
However, on our introduction day, I met a girl who I really got along with (let's call her K), and she became my first friend in college. I had made two other friends from my class too, but since that day, we were always together, and got closer as the year went on.
During the first few weeks I met K, she had a boyfriend. I didn't know much about this guy, and never met him properly. However, later on, K broke up with him (I can't exactly remember why) and within a few more weeks, she got with another guy, who I will call B.
I first met B during a meet up with K, two of her friends and my ex. He seemed really easy to get along with, and was a really nice guy. I thought he was a great boyfriend for K, as he was funny, friendly and cared a lot for her. He even came to my 17th birthday party. He was a good guy, and it was nice to see a good friend of mine happy.
But all of that changed when we reached second year. He remained the same throughout first year, but when second year hit a year later, he started to change...
K was beginning to complain about him a lot. They had minor issues before (as relationships do), but these were quickly resolved. But K was getting more and more trouble with him. I'd listen to her, but obviously didn't want to say anything that would involve me with their problems, so I was just a friend for her to talk to.
However, my own personal problems with B arised when he would comment "Freak" on a selfie of me and K. I thought at first it was a joke and that he was just teasing, but he kept commenting that on every picture we took, and then K eventually told me that "B thinks you're a freak"
I was hurt a lot by that. I thought we were friends, so why did he suddenly think that? I overthinked a lot about it, going through the times I had met him with K. Did I say or do something that upset him? I kept thinking about it over and over, but couldn't think of anything that would have upset him or make him mad at me.
It got worse later on, as he was beginning to treat K poorly in their relationship. K would tell me endless arguments they had, as well as the names he called her. He had even hit her sometimes, and she'd show me the bruises. I just wanted to scream at her "BREAK UP WITH HIM! HE ONLY HURTS YOU!" I had tried saying that he isn't worth it, and that he's not a good person, but her response was always "But I love him".
B even said he didn't want K to talk to me anymore. In fact, he wrote her a whole list
of friends he didn't want her talking to. His excuse was the same: "I don't want you around her. She's a freak!" Luckily, K didn't listen to him, and we continued to hang around during college. However, I could tell that all of this was putting a strain on her, as she was continually getting upset during classes and the stress of work on top of that was hitting her harder. I so desperately wanted B to go, and most of her other friends agreed that he's a horrible person. One friend in particular (call him M) really liked her. He was a lot nicer than B, and would tell her over and over again how he felt about her and why B wasn't right for her. It was sad, because he was such a nice guy, yet he was the one getting friendzoned, whilst the one who called her names, controlled her and bullied her friend was getting all her love.
I was hurt by how these horrible things were being said behind my back, especially how I was finally enjoying my life bully-free after my experiences in school. K practically begged me not to say anything to him, so I didn't. I wished I did though, and had put my foot down more and told her how much it hurt me. Even if she didn't want me to, and it would put a strain on our friendship, I should have told him to stop calling me names, even if I got a ton of abusive messages on Facebook from him.
Unfortunately, she is still with B now. They broke up for literally a day (I'm sure lots of her friends were overjoyed about that!), but it wasn't long before they got back together. Thankfully, it doesn't look like he's been hurting her as much, and he no longer says anything about me.
I think he's blocked me on Facebook (even though I was the one who removed him as a friend), which is fine by me. I no longer care about him, because I don't need people like him in my life.
So, what did I learn from this experience? Simple. Some people are not how they seem. They may seem friendly, fun and easy to get along with, but once they reveal their true colours, it's like they're a completely different person. I also learned to stand my ground more and not tolerate any kind of rude comments made about me, despite what people may think about it. I was so afraid of losing K as a friend, that I tried to let it slide, but if I experience anything like that again, I'm going to speak out. We all have a voice for a reason.
Thank you all for reading, and have a lovely easter!